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My Spouse Wants Me To Prioritize Work Over Family
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Our live caller is separated from his wife and explains, “I have to make a choice about a new career and how much time to spend with my kids… I could stay unemployed to have more time with my kids OR I could choose a new career path, but my wife may not like it.”
He feels like his wife is attracted to business; having a career is a big “pull” for her… so investing in their kids might not be very attractive to her.
Dr. Joe Beam explains that this caller needs to reframe how he thinks about what’s attractive to his spouse and being a safe place. Here at Marriage Helper, we often say “don’t work on yourself just for your spouse- do it for YOU!” (So even if your spouse doesn’t react the way you want them to, you will not get discouraged and decide to quit.)
Dr. Joe Beam also suggests that this caller think through the following questions:
What can I do to be a father to my children they need?
What do I need to do to become the best person I can be?
This caller should not focus on what he can do to impress his wife- Yes, he wants her back, but his children’s welfare is crucial. Hopefully by working on becoming a better person physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually AND investing in his children affects his wife in a positive way, but even if it does not, he has confidence that he’s making a decision where the most important thing to hin is the welfare of his children.
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