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Is It A Good Idea To Have My Wife Move Out?
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Our live caller wants to know “Is it a good idea to have my wife move out?” He had a breakdown and told his wife she should move out because of her affair… but he’s not sure if this is a good idea.
In response, Dr. Joe Beam wants this caller to consider this question… “If your wife moves out, what do you expect to accomplish?”
Upon further thought, our live caller sees that moving out isn’t the best option. He wants his wife to see what she’s missing, but if she moves out, it will push her further away.
Here at Marriage Helper we call boundaries “STOPs.” That is, safeguards that offer protection for you or your children. When this caller told his wife to move out, he set a consequence for what she’s doing.
However, if you ask your spouse to move out so that they “wake up” or “see what they’re missing out on,” how does that protect you? Is it harming you physically, intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually?
It may be extremely difficult to deal with what your spouse is doing, but is it something you can handle right now? Think of positives such as “My spouse is home.” “My spouse is with the family.” Typically, when people separate from chaos, they get peace (and don’t want to go back). Because of this, we recommend that you stay in the same house as long as possible (until you need to make a “STOP”; a safeguard that offers protection.
*Don’t set up a STOP with your spouse in a moment of anger, frustration, or anxiety. Set a STOP when it’s well thought-out and calm.
For more on “STOPs” check out the video “Should I Use STOPs To Make My Husband Communicate?” here: https://youtu.be/cXh2KXYyLa4
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