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I’m Tempted To Have An Affair. What Should I Do?
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Our live caller wants to prevent cheating on her husband. Right now, her husband is gone all the time. His career stands in the way of them getting closer. Because of this, she started developing feelings for an old friend…
Dr. Joe Beam asks her, “What do your beliefs and values tell you that you should do?”
She responds that she’s strict and stringent on not having an affair based on her Biblical beliefs. Her beliefs and values are saying “Don’t do this.” But her emotions are saying, “Do this.”
If she’s going to prevent having an affair, there are 2 things that need to happen. 1. She needs to break off all contact with this other man. 2. She needs to have a conversation with her husband about her needs.
However, her husband basically told her he’d choose his career over her… Because of this, Dr. Joe Beam explains that she needs to consider a “CORE.” A “CORE” is a “continuing our relationship essential.” That is, “if we’re going to continue this relationship, this is something that must occur.”
When setting a “CORE” don’t make it impossible for the other person, and don’t do it selfishly. But make sure to express that you have certain needs in this marriage. For example, “I need to have more of your time.”
And as you continue with the “COREs” you can build upon them- asking for more of what you need once the initial “CORE” is met.
If he refuses… it will be tough to continue. We are NOT pro-divorce; we do everything we can to help save marriages! So if he refuses, our resources like our Workshop and Coaching can help (and have helped even the most hopeless situations!!)
For information on our Workshop, visit: https://marriagehelper.com/workshops/
And for information on Coaching, visit: https://marriagehelper.com/counseling-vs-coaching/
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